Perfectly Imperfect

As I sit down to finally publish this blog I have procrastinated in every way you can think of; procrasti-eaten, procrasti-cleaned, procrasta-scrolled, procrast-trained. You name it, I’ve done it. Why? Because in my mind, a voice convinces me it’s not perfect. It’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. It will never be good enough! Sound familiar?

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with perfectionism. This in itself is equally a blessing and a burden. Admittedly this persistent voice, has on one hand given my craft a high level of excellence due to always striving to go above and beyond in all that I do, but boy has it exhausted me! Even to the point of bed ridden sickness. Possessing this illogical tendency to procrasti-wait until the conditions are ideal has hindered my own artistic progression as I postpone putting any work out into the world until in my mind it is 100% perfect.

In saying this, over the past few months I have experienced bursts of jumping head first into the depths of imperfection leaning into the discomfort of putting my work out to the world in it’s rawest state, although very quickly retracted to old habits of dipping my toe in, staying safe and playing small.

While in recent weeks this habit has shifted. Evoked by hearing an overwhelming amount of situations, some even close to home, regarding seemingly healthy people being diagnosed with cancers and terminal illnesses given merely months left to live. Shock set in. My mind processed this information and as I woke a few days later…It hit me. It hit me hard to the point that I was staring at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes, dumbfounded. The truth is…this is it. You only get one life. One chance. At any moment we could be told that time is up, or worse be given no warning. Then it’s all over. No second chances. No turning back time. Done. Goodbye.

I thought to myself, if I were told right in this moment that this was my last day I had left to live on this earth, what would I say I wish I had done?

Think about it.

It was then that I knew what I needed to do for if not now, when? It’s amazing what answers arise when the inevitable end to life is so honestly placed in front of our eyes.

 

“Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. If it’s important to you and you want to do it ‘eventually’, just do it and correct the course along the way.” – Tim Ferriss.

Conditions are never perfect. They are never perfect to write the perfect blog, to write a flawless show, to be ready for that promotion, to meet a potential partner, to fall in love, or to start a new business venture. Perfection is an illusion, a complicated form of procrastination, which is just a deeper manifestation of our fears.

If we keep waiting, we will be waiting for a lifetime and before we know it our time will be up.

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now.” - Paulo Coelho

Lesson 1: Do it now

So here is a perfectly imperfect song, “Bluebird” by Sara Bareilles recorded in my living room, in one take, self accompanied on piano, a new evolving skill and therefore completely out of my comfort zone. 

Lesson 2:

Embrace being perfectly imperfect. Putting something out there is better than nothing at all.

 

Life itself is a draft, a rehearsal that you have permission to correct and edit ruthlessly whenever you please. Your masterpiece is always a working progress. As the years pass, a canvas once so simple and one-dimensional transforms into a textured and deeply intricate art form filled with beauty and harshness that only the eye of the artist and soul of the creator will truly comprehend. I’m no painter, architect or builder but I’m familiar with the layers of the soul and that itself is the greatest masterpiece that we are all assigned to be designers of. It’s our duty to choose the colour palette we paint from, and the elements we utilize to one day complete with our desired finishing touches.

So there you have it. Another brush stroke added to the painting, a page to the story and note to the song of... 

That perfectly imperfect Singer’s Soul.

Xx